I Blame You Barbara Cartland

I blame you Barbara Cartland,

For following my heart and not my brain,

For encouraging me to believe in romance,

And not advising me of the pain.

I blame you Barbara Cartland,

Your books are just full of lies,

They make me feel like I have a chance,

And then somebody makes me cry.

I blame you Barbara Cartland,

You’re as bad as a Disney Cartoon,

Promising ‘happily ever after’s,

With courteous men who make me swoon.

I blame you Barbara Cartland,

You promised me that I’d have my prince,

But the men can’t seem to dress themselves,

And visible pants just make me wince.

I blame you Barbara Cartland,

For not writing a helpful thing,

From now on I’m going to avoid your books,

And just stick with Stephen King.